Bespoke Farewell: Memorial Rose Garden

What to do with cremated remains of loved ones is a deeply personal matter. Do you keep them close to home, or scatter them to the four winds?

Sometimes, this decision is made for you when loved ones leave express wishes about what to do with their remains. Placing or scattering their ashes then becomes about honouring that final wish.

Some people also like to keep cremated remains at home, usually in a ceremonial urn or other sturdy receptacle placed up on a shelf somewhere in the house. This is often done when babies or children pass away and grieving parents are unable to part with their ashes. 

On some occasions, retaining ashes is simply a stop-gap measure until families decide where the final resting place of their loved ones might be. 

Wendy B of Murrumba Downs, Queensland, chose to remember her late mum, Brenda T, in a very special, bespoke way. She created a very small, private, and personal memorial rose garden in memory of her mother, who passed away in April 2023.
​

​Wendy purchased a Blue Moon rose, her mother's favourite, and a large pot. She placed the ashes (in their urn) into the base of the pot and covered them in the soil around the rose plant.

"I didn't want to [mix the] ashes in the the soil. Mum wanted me to place her ashes in the garden near my water feature so she could watch the [great-grandkids] and she loved the water," Wendy said.

"I worried about seeing the urn every day, and to me, placing her in the soil under her rose in a pot near where my grandkids play honours her wish better."

The pot is kept in the back garden of Wendy's home, sheltered from the elements and close to the water feature that Brenda loved. It is a place where Wendy can come and sit during those times when grief punches its way through the armour of facing everyday life, and she can have some quiet time alone in reflection.
​

Watching the plant grow and flourish has helped Wendy remain close to her mother spiritually as she moves on without her physically in her life.

"I love my idea, especially being able to have part of mum always with me and my family," she said.

But it doesn't end there. Wendy has plans for the special pot-plant, which she has shared with husband Andrew and their family.

"I made sure to buy a big pot, so the plan is my ashes can also be placed in the pot," she said.

"It is in my will for the pot to be passed onto another family member when I die. The plan is for mum 'n me to always be with our family rather than in a cemetery where none visit."

The memorial rose garden is a beautiful way to honour Wendy's much-loved mum, keeping her close but also within nature. It is a living, breathing memorial that will continue to bloom every year, and will always be with family.

#livingmemorial #memorialrosegarden #memorialgarden #scatteringashes #placementofashes #crematedremains #bluemoonrose #bespokefarewell