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What Does Bespoke Look Like?

2/19/2022

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What does "bespoke" look like? This is a question I am often asked.

The simple answer: it's everything you want it to look like.

From the structure of the ceremony to the words that deliver it, the rituals and readings that inform it, to the location and timing of it - bespoke reflects what you want.

I want to tell you about one of the most amazing bespoke weddings I have done in my almost 18 years doing this work. It is the easiest way to demonstrate what 'bespoke' means.

Scott and Kate (pictured) approached me in 2008 for their wedding and asked me if I could create a "pirate-themed" ceremony that would include their families in some way. They were planning to dress up and ask their guests to dress in pirate costumes as well. The ceremony location was the observation deck overlooking the water at Jacobs Well, south of Brisbane

Soon after, I started researching pirates, 
pirate lore, pirate law, pirate customs and traditions. In my research I found a few interesting things which I thought would be very useful in my task to create a bespoke pirate-themed wedding:
  • When people signed on to work on pirate ships, they essentially signed "Articles of Agreement" for the voyage.
  • A lot of people - men, specifically - were not 'career pirates' at the start of their journeys. Many were illiterate and signed their AOA with a simple cross X. T
  • Pirates were sometimes known as Brethren of the Sea, particularly those operating in Caribbean waters. 
  • Pirates had their own codes of behaviour. One of these involved the consequences for stealing from other pirates. This involved a "Letter of Marque" which enabled the victim to claim compensation from the ruddy mongrel who stole from them.

Once I had a fair idea of how pirates operated, I started to look at what I could draw into Scott and Kate's bespoke ceremony. Pretty much all of it, as it turned out!
  • Before the wedding started, I announced to the guests that they were all being asked to come aboard for the journey of the wedding of pirate lord Scott and his lady Kate.
  • The guests entered into the spirit of the event and "let their marks" on a specially designed AOA printed on a pretty scroll paper. This served as a special guest register that the couple could keep. 
  • The guests were referred to as "brethren of the sea" throughout the ceremony. 
  • The "Letter of Marque" was used for the section of the ceremony where the Bride was given away by her family. The Bride had stolen the groom's heart and therefore he was entitled to seek compensation - so he claimed her hand in marriage. The Letter of Marque was presented to her family for this purpose.
  • The family was involved in an elaborate sand ceremony using a huge glass bottle. Each nominated family member crossed the observation deck as the bride and groom recited stanzas of a poem called "Call of the Beloved.".
  • At the end of the ceremony, a "Proclamation of Marriage" announced the couple had wed.
It was one of the most exciting bespoke ceremonies I've ever performed and the couple were super happy with the outcome. You don't need to dress up have a bespoke wedding for it to be different, beautiful and special, Your ceremony will reflect your own personal wishes and wants and in its own way will be just as amazing.

Talk to me about what is possible. You may be pleasantly surprised.

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    Sharon Bonthuys

    Cat lover, coffee connoisseur, and 24/7 creative.

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